Sunday, August 19, 2007

Where should one lay down roots?

The age of forty is an interesting age to say the least. You're older not younger, are about halfway through your expected lifespan, and the kids are nearing independence. The big question I've been chewing over is "Where is the best place to permanently settle?" When you answer the question there is a healthy dose of finality in the conclusion. To some this a good thing, and to others it's frightening. The real question is: Which conclusion satisfies you the most?

We've been on the move for twenty years. Married in '89 and off to Canada, to Hong Kong in '91 and then off to Bangkok in '95 with a few young children in tow. A lifetime of 4 year stints seemed just fine, so in '99 we headed back to Hong Kong with one more youngster and spent a lengthy eight years there. Amazingly (and happily) we produced yet another little one who is fourteen years younger than the eldest. After eight years here we have now chosen to punch the clock, push the button, lower the landing gear, you name it, head back to Canada. Like Gilligan's three hour tour that lasted three years (I thought it was longer, but Wikipedia knows better) we've been spotted by the rescue team and are coming home after a 16 year adventure. Vancouver may be another chapter in an ongoing tale or a very lengthy final chapter and epilogue. We'd like it to be a chapter, but I have a feeling it will be like The Deathly Hallows--800 pages of good fun after many previous shorter books.

I've been wondering if a sense of regret and nostalgia would form, but it hasn't. Many of our good friends are all packing up and going back home, which suggests that Asia in general is becoming less fascinating and exotic than it once was, as well as the likelihood that our friends face the same issues. Schooling, pollution, cost of living, skill gap versus local talent, income opportunities, etc. are all influencers that most families face. I say "families" because singles and couples are generally very flexible and probably enjoy a more active and radical social life than couples with kids. Asia is still highly appealing to younger couples with very young kids because there is just so much to see, and it's easy to take your young kids around. Once the kids are in school you're limited to school holidays for trips and your life become similar to what it would be back home. Obviously I speak from the perspective of an expatriate--Local residents are "at home" and the expat "adventure" is the local's normal day. We've found that if we live much in the same style as we would back in North America, but are burdened with pollution, a high cost of living, etc. well why not just go live there?

So our newest adventure is to see what it's like to have a mortgage and to be gratefully unbeholden to landlords. We give up a lot, but gain a lot as well. And the best thing is that I largely have no sense of regret about leaving which means that I'm honestly looking forward to living back in Canada. We did the adventure and never have to wonder "What if?" That's a blessing to people like us who live to experience, and appreciate what they've seen. Whenever I get a good workout done early in the morning I think that it's one less important thing to worry about during the day, so that I can focus on what is currently happening. At our early age of forty three we can check the "overseas adventure" off the list and move on to whatever needs our attention these days. It's gives me a sense of achievement, and more importantly, a sense of peace that I did something I really wanted to do. Now, I need to Google "how to mow lawn" so ta ta for now.